With apologies to Sandra Boynton on her birthday, here is a parody of a her classic picture book Hippos Go Berserk that I felt compelled to write. I originally posted this on Facebook and several of my friends contributed, including: Steve W., Susan L., Christine R., Edward H., Chris D., Debbie W., Sid S., and Carolyn G. I don’t have the skill to add illustrations to the text, but if you’re interested in drawing it up, have at it. Just give credit where credit is due.
One hipster, all alone, texts two hipsters on an iPhone.
Three hipsters at the door, bring DVDs of mumblecore.
Four hipsters in fedoras sardonically talk about their auras.
Five hipsters with ironic facial hair wear bow ties and rock their flair.
Six hipsters pedal fixies while wearing tweed caps.
Seven hipsters sneak in some Pabst.
Eight hipsters with white girl dreads, proudly display their artisanal breads.
Nine hipsters get down and pretend to twerk.
ALL THE HIPSTERS WRYLY SHOUT “LET’S GO BERSERK!”
All through the hipster night, hipsters dance to Times New Viking,
but at the hipster break of day they seek tunes more to their liking.
Nine hipsters amble out the door making their way to a vinyl record store.
Eight hipsters then head west to make it to Coachella ahead of the rest.
Seven other hipsters thought it was best to head instead to SXSW.
Leaving behind six hipsters wearing skinny jeans that are quite distressed.
Five hipsters prepare for their northward treks by donning pairs of horn-rimmed specs.
Four hipsters move to a transitional ‘hood, avoiding Wal-Mart like no one else could.
Three hipsters, as was their wont, designed websites in a quirky, homemade font.
Two hipsters get their kicks applying filters to all their pics.
One hipster, alone once more, thinks all those hipsters were such a bore.